There’s one thing you and every other teen has in common – peer pressure. It doesn’t matter how popular you are, or aren’t, sooner or later, you’ll face peer pressure. Pressure can affect you anywhere, anytime … pressure to do drugs, skip class, miss your curfew, or have sex, are just a few examples.
How do you prepare yourself to face peer pressure and win? The answer is simple. Prepare yourself ahead of time for uncomfortable situations, mentally script out the reaction you WANT to have in a given situation (the reaction that goes AGAINST peer pressure) and play that script out in your head over and over again. (1)
Know where you stand on key issues like sex, drugs and alcohol and do not allow anybody to make you deviate from your position. (2)
Where do you stand?
If you’re like lots of other teens your age, one or more of these thoughts about pre-marital sex has entered your mind at least once.
- He’ll dump me if I say “no.”
- He won’t love me if I say “no.”
- Everyone else is doing it.
- I won’t be popular if I don’t do it.
- I’ll get teased if I don’t do it.
- Virgins aren’t cool/popular.
- My friends won’t like me if I say “no.”
- It’s just oral sex – what’s the big deal?
- We’re in love – what’s the big deal?
- We use protection – what’s the big deal?
- My parents did it – what’s the big deal?
Pressure – from your peers and the media - is really at the root of these thoughts. The challenge for you is to figure out how you feel about sex and whether you’re ready – physically, emotionally and financially – to accept the responsibility and consequences that go along with having sex.
If the answer is “no,” it is time to deal with the fact that you’ll experience peer pressure to change your mind. Here’s some help. Having resistance “comeback” lines can really help you say no quickly and firmly. These lines have helped other teens just like you:
- “If you really love me you will wait until we are married.”
- “If you love me, then you would respect my ‘no’ answer.”
- “Do what? Risk my future for you? That's not love.”
- “Excuse me! My self-esteem is too high to fall for that trick.”
- “Sorry I don't love you. I love me.”
- “Let me get this straight….if I love you, I should be willing to risk getting a sexually transmitted infection or an unwanted pregnancy?"
- “I am not ready to father a child."
- “I'm not ready to be a mother.”
It’s your body. Your life. You are the only person who has the right to decide if you’re ready to deal with sex and everything that comes with it. Keep these rights in mind:
I have the right to...
- Choose to go out with friends without pairing up with someone.
- Say "no" to a physical closeness.
- Say "I want to get to know you better before I get more involved.”
- Say "I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.”
- Have my own morals, values and beliefs respected.
- Say "I love you" without having sex.
 Peer pressure only works if you let it, if you refuse to let it intimidate you it loses its power. The secret is to assert yourself without becoming preachy or self-righteous. Stand your ground but refrain from standing on a soap box. Remember, peer pressure can only bite you if you let it. (3)
Source: (1, 2, 3) Mike Hardcastle, volunteer youth worker
Can You Beat Peer Pressure?
There are certain "risk factors" for peer pressure, personality traits that make you more prone to give in to peer pressure. The traits that put you at higher risk for falling in to the peer pressure trap include:
- Low self esteem
- Lack of confidence
- Uncertainty about ones place within a given peer group
- No personal interests exclusive of one's peer group
- Feeling isolated from peers and/or family
- Lack of direction in life
- Depression
- Eating disorders
- Poor academic abilities or performance
- Fear of one's peers
- Lack of strong ties to friends, feeling that friends could turn on you easily or with little reason
- Close bond with a bully
Don’t miss out on more advice like this – written for teens - from Mike Hardcastle. Read Beat Peer Pressure! now
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